Talking of dialogue

[John Dean]

As you may know from my previous blogs, I am putting the final touches to the latest DCI Jack Harris novel. I am analysing each line to make sure that every word is doing a job and much of that process is focusing on dialogue.

I talk to many writers who say: ‘I can write but I can’t do dialogue.’ For those struggling, here’s an experiment. It’ll make you feel self-conscious but it could be worth the embarrassment. Sit down with a group of friends and chat about whatever you fancy. Get one of you to take notes and come up with the rules of dialogue.

You will find, when you analyse those findings, that a lot of the time:

 

We do not speak in correct sentences, using short, sharp phrases instead

 

That we interrupt each other

 

We assume the listener knows a lot about us

 

We use dialogue to impart information

 

We can tell a lot about a person in a short snap of conversation

 

We use body language, talking with our hands, the shape of our body etc.

 

Our dialogue tends to be in character - a person who swears a lot will, by and large, always swear a lot, a person who uses timid non-assertive language will tend to do that in most situations. When they divert from that, the impact could be all the greater

 

We do not pack it with extraneous information eg “Good Tuesday morning, William, although everyone calls you Bill, my neighbour of ten years in Acacia Avenue, London, are you your normal glum self, to which we - that is my wife, Gladys, and I - have grown accustomed over the years since your wife, 29-year-old Ellen, left you for a younger man and filed for divorce or has the darkness which seems to routinely enveigle you over the last few days lifted at last, may I ask?”

Ok, over-the-top but it makes the point. If you need to slot in information, find a way of doing it in a subtle way. Back to poor old Bill again: “Saw Bill this morning. His usual gloomy self. The divorce really has knocked him backwards.”

I once taught a class when a writer was trying out radio - a very difficult medium - and the scene was one in which one sister telephoned another to tell her that she had murdered her husband and he was lying on the floor, covered in blood. What opening line would you go for: “I’ve killed him!’ “Something terrible has happened!’? She went for ‘Hello, this is your oldest sister, Hazel.” People do not talk like that. Best make sure that your characters do not do so either.

 

Finally, two key rules. Every line of dialogue must take the story on and, crucially, do not repeat yourself. This is the rule that is exercising my mind during the edit – one character saying in one scene what another says in another. Unless the repetition is key to the story, it should be avoided.