Talking of Bill...

[John Dean]

I talk to many writers who say: ‘I can write but I can’t do dialogue.’ For those struggling, here’s an experiment. It’ll make you feel self-conscious but it could be worth the embarrassment. Sit down with a group of friends and chat about whatever you fancy.  Get one of you to take notes and come up with the rules of dialogue. You will find, when you analyse those findings, that a lot of the time,

 

we do not speak in correct sentences, using short, sharp phrases instead

 

that we interrupt each other

 

we assume that the listener knows a lot about us

 

we use dialogue to impart information

 

we can tell a lot about a person in a short snap of conversation

 

we use body language, talking with our hands, the shape of our body etc.

 

our dialogue tends to be in character - a person who swears a lot will, by and large, always swear a lot, a person who uses timid non-assertive language will tend to do that in most situations. When they divert from that, the impact could be all the greater.

 

We do not pack dialogue with extraneous information eg “Good Tuesday morning, William, although everyone calls you Bill, my neighbour of ten years in Acacia Avenue, London, are you your normal glum self, to which we - that is my wife, Gladys, and I - have grown accustomed over the years since your wife, 29-year-old Ellen, left you for a younger man and filed for divorce or has the darkness which seems to routinely enveigle you over the last few days lifted at last, may I ask?”

Ok, over-the-top but it makes the point. If you need to slot in information, find a way of doing it in a subtle way. Similarly, I once taught a class when a writer was trying out radio - a very difficult medium - and the scene was one in which one sister telephoned another to tell her that she had murdered her husband and he was lying on the floor, covered in blood. What opening line would you go for: “I’ve killed him!’ “Something terrible has happened!’? She went for ‘Hello, this is your oldest sister, Hazel.”

People do not talk like that. Best make sure that your characters do not do so either!